Today was super! Haha, I woke up this morning and went for a run with my mom, trying to get unfat. Then I showered and started to pack for New York and then Andy came over. We napped and I actually fell asleep. Cute, right? Then some stuff, and then more stuff, and then shower time! Toke a shower and then laid down for a little while. Andy toke care of me because my stomach hurt really bad, and I don’t know why. We had a chat and I cried but I’ll get to that later. And then I told him that he should go because I had to pack and clean up and get dressed and clean and do mah haiirr. I called up Ian because Beth, Dave, Ian, Brian and I were supposed to go to the movies today, and he’s is the only number I knew. Called up his ass and he didn’t answer, but he called me back. He asked if I wanted to come over for some grillin’ and I, of course, said hells yea… because who doesn’t love grillin’? Told him to pick me up at 6:15, so him and his friend Walter roll up, talk to my mom, and then went to go pick up Dana. That’s right, the lovely Dana came with to the festivities. We went to the grocery store and got strawberries, meat, a grill and cheese. Drove around deciding where to go and then ended up at this little park, the one that used to have the spider in it… you know? Set up to make some food, realized we didn’t have buns, anything to drink or a flipper. So Walter went to the store and came back with drinks and buns and chips, while Dana and Ian and I played with Smokey Joe (Silver… if you‘re nasty). Walter came back and we ate and had a lovely little picnic-y thing. Then we went to Pep Boys and got a battery thingy… so Ian could D.J. in the parking lot at VIP. Then it rained and Walter’s windshield wipers don’t work so he had to drop us off at Dana’s house while he went home, ate and got his dad’s truck. Ian played with Max, we all drank Kool-Aid and sat on Dana’s front porch then proceeded to watch some of the Little Rascals. Walter called came and picked Ian and I up and dropped me off at home. Gave Ian a hug goodbye and told him to bring me something back from England. I want a guard. I don’t think he can’t bring me one. Came inside, called Andy, he came over, we said goodbye (i.e. hug, kiss, “I love you”s, and so forth). And now I’m here, packing.
About that crying. He made me cry, but it wasn’t all bad, it was a little good too. I cried for a lot of different reasons and some of them I’m not sure why they came out at that time. I cried because all my mom has been doing lately is bitching at me. I cried because I don’t know where I want Andy’s and my relationship to go. I cried because he says the sweetest things and he’s so nice to me and I think that’ so precious. I cried because I don’t know if we’re good for each other. I cried because I don’t think we’re on the same level and I think he puts more into this relationship than I do. I cried because, as bad as this sounds, I really like Ian. I cried because he means so much to me, and I don’t want to loss him. I cried because he was talking about an “open relationship” , and I don’t want that. I cried because he’s the sweetest person ever, and all he’s trying to do is make me feel better. I cried because when I told him my stomach hurt, and he brought me chips and cracker and water and juice. I cried because I don’t know. But whatever because we talked when he came over, and we’re all good now. I really love him and he makes me so happy. So I’m going to listen to the Ataris and think about Mr. Andrew Ian Stewart.
That was almost too emo for my own good.