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crushed

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So the last time I really updated was the 4th. That's a lot of catching up to do. So I’ll just start from this morning and work backwards until I can’t remember anymore. Ok, here we go.

Last night/ This morning- Last night I went to the mall and the movies with Andy and Emily. Got my new shoes and tried to see a movie. But the people that work at the Columbia Mall movie theater suck and should be shot in the face. Or at least whoever decided that you have to be eighteen or with someone twenty-one or older to see an R movie. It was fucking ridiculous. But whatever, we got our money back. Then, since there was nothing to do, we headed back to Catonsville and caught up with Emanuel and Caitlin. About this time Andy and I got in a big ole’ fight and got mad at each other and what-have-you, but it’s fine now I guess and I really am just tired of talking about it. So he left and hung out with Justin and all them I guess, and Emily and I went to go play pool with Emanuel, Caitlin, Caleb and after awhile Julia, Brittany, Dave and Nate showed up. It was a lot of fun. I haven’t played pool in a long time and I sucked, so I really didn’t play at all. After that We drove to Nate’s house and then Emanuel took Emily, Caitlin and me home. I spent the night at Emily’s house. Later on Andy called me and just about yelled at me for a half hour and then Emily hung up on him. Then about nine this morning I walked home so I could do laundry and pack for tomorrow. Which I’m SO STOKED FOR! And I talked to Andy and tried to tell him that I just want to break up, I don’t want to have to try at this anymore. I just don’t want to have to go through fighting anymore. He told me to think about it, so I am but I still want to break up.

Monday- Went to volleyball try-outs and I suck, so I didn’t go back for the second day. I’m just going to practice this year on the league and work and then try again next year.

Sunday- Went to Youth Group and that’s about all I think. I can’t remember.

Friday night/ Saturday - Friday night I went to the mall with Andy, Dana, and Leksi. That was fun and Andy and I were having a good night. Dana got her green chuck and I got a head band. It’s polka dot and cute. Then after we dropped Leksi off we went 7-Eleven and then to Hillcrest and saw Tim and Jake. Chilled there for awhile then Andy toke us to Dana’s house where I spent the night. Good times. The next morning Dana, my mom and I went to this big ass flea market in the parking lot of Eastpoint mall. That was fun. After the flea market we went to lunch for my aunt’s birthday. Then after we dropped Dana off at her house Andy came and got me and we watched Urban Legends at his house. I wish I was in a horror movie because I would never die. The girls in horror movies are so dumb.

Thursday- Camp show with the kiddies. They were all so cute. All the little boys wore clean, button-down shirts and all the girls wore ribbons in their hair. It was so cute. And this little boy Brennen told me he loved me and asked for a kiss, made me want to have kids, which would be a good thing because I already have names for them. After the camp show we went to eat at La Palapa’s and it was good food and good times. After we ate the people who were left walked around Ellicott City and it was like a cute movie and I toke pictures.

Wednesday- Don’t remember anything.

Tuesday- Could have gone to a O.A.R. thing if it weren’t for
A.) my working.
B.) Andy’s working.
C.) My coming home late on Monday night.
D.) It being at 2-6.
E.) It also being in D.C.

Monday- Went to the Ottobar with Andy, Chucky, Greg and Matt. We saw Underoath, Silverstein, Brazil and one other band, I think they had something with dying in the title, I don’t remember though. It was fun. But at the beginning Matt was being a dick to me because I made them late. But it was because the guy came to look at our house and tell us about what he could do about the bug situation. Other than that it was fun.

And then I don’t remember anything else, but that goes pretty far back. And tomorrow through Sunday I’ll be at the be-ach with Dana and Leksi. Should be a lot of fun. Andy is coming down on Friday and staying at Justin’s grandmom’s house. So we’ll be catching up with them sometime, I hope, if Andy doesn’t hate me.
<3.

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Yea, that's right. It's 7:42 in the a.-m. Pretty fucking early right? Yea, this weekend was boring.
Friday- My mom's friend Monica's birthday at her beautiful house. It's the best house ever. And I love my mom's artsy friends.
Saturday- Went to Mr. Dave's shop and spraypainted my vaniety. Spraypainted it pink and figured out that my walls are going to be green, so I picked out a couple green paint samples that I liked. Yay for progress on my room. Told Mr. Dave I didn't like him, that didn't go so hot. Oops. Oh well. Then went to my cousin's family thing at her big, nice house.
Sunday- Nothing until I went to Beth's to swim and then went to church and Youth Group. I dislike going to church strongly. After awhile you forget why you don't do something and decide maybe it wasn't that bad, so you make one more try at it... and it still sucks. Well never again, until school starts back up. Anyways, after church, at Youth Group, we played Taboo and the girls won, of course. Because boys are stupid. And then we played this other game and it was weird. And then we left.
And I'm tired of writing, that's why this trails off at the end. Buuut, I am excited about going to the beach with Dana and Leksi. Yay! Be-ach! Only 17 more days. And yay for watching old stupid surfing movies with Andrew tonight.
<3.

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awake

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Right so it's been awhile... but I haven't really been up to anything but work and then doing stuff after work and then sleeping thrown in the mix. And it was my birthday Tuesday. Oh, and Val's. Oh, and Amber's sister Britney, I think. Ok, so Tuesday night I went to Outback with Andy for my birthday diner, they have good food and good fries. Wednesday I went to the Arbutus carnival, saw a lot of people I know, but it was Arbutus to the max. Thursday I went to a crab feast for Loyola College, more good food. Friday Emily and I went to the mall and got some clothes and ate Chinese food, like we always get when we're there. Saturday I had my birthday party, which was weird, because I haven't had a birthday party since I was like eight. Sunday Dana and I shopped and got ten dollar bathing suits and other cool shit from Ross, never realized how much I love that store. But I do. Oh, and Andy and I broke up... for like an hour then I text him and apologized. I'm such a loser. Oh and I heard from Ian and he's sending me letters and something British for my birthday, haha. Nothing else really happened, or I don't remember it happening. Either way I have to go to work and play with 1st graders.
<3.

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Today was nice. Woke up at 6ish and cleaned my room, it was very Orange County. I got all the shit out from under my bed, which I can't have with the day bed, and put all the loose miscellaneous pictures in a picture box. I was productive. Oh, and I got stuff together for a yard sale that I need to have to get money for the room I want. So after all that, I smelled. Gross. So I showered and whilst I was showering Andy came over and whored up my bed. We napped and talked. And it made me really happy, and we were both in a really great mood. Then I walked down to my grandmom’s house and sorted through Danny’s clothes to see if there was anything I wanted. I got sleepy shirts. Came home and did my hair. Then Ian and Patrick came and picked me up, then we picked up Dana and went to Columbia Mall. Dana and I got free panties from Victoria’s Secret and then proceeded to walk around and what have you. Got bored and decided a movie would be fun. So we saw the Notebook. Cute. It was actually very adorable, and I would have cried if we weren’t busy laughing at each other laughing at things. That was over, we walked around the mall some more and then my mom came and got me. Then I came home and now I’m here.
I’m going to miss Ian while he’s in England, but he’s going to write me so that’s cool. I’m going to go to sleep, well not sleep, but not write.
<3.

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content

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Today was super! Haha, I woke up this morning and went for a run with my mom, trying to get unfat. Then I showered and started to pack for New York and then Andy came over. We napped and I actually fell asleep. Cute, right? Then some stuff, and then more stuff, and then shower time! Toke a shower and then laid down for a little while. Andy toke care of me because my stomach hurt really bad, and I don’t know why. We had a chat and I cried but I’ll get to that later. And then I told him that he should go because I had to pack and clean up and get dressed and clean and do mah haiirr. I called up Ian because Beth, Dave, Ian, Brian and I were supposed to go to the movies today, and he’s is the only number I knew. Called up his ass and he didn’t answer, but he called me back. He asked if I wanted to come over for some grillin’ and I, of course, said hells yea… because who doesn’t love grillin’? Told him to pick me up at 6:15, so him and his friend Walter roll up, talk to my mom, and then went to go pick up Dana. That’s right, the lovely Dana came with to the festivities. We went to the grocery store and got strawberries, meat, a grill and cheese. Drove around deciding where to go and then ended up at this little park, the one that used to have the spider in it… you know? Set up to make some food, realized we didn’t have buns, anything to drink or a flipper. So Walter went to the store and came back with drinks and buns and chips, while Dana and Ian and I played with Smokey Joe (Silver… if you‘re nasty). Walter came back and we ate and had a lovely little picnic-y thing. Then we went to Pep Boys and got a battery thingy… so Ian could D.J. in the parking lot at VIP. Then it rained and Walter’s windshield wipers don’t work so he had to drop us off at Dana’s house while he went home, ate and got his dad’s truck. Ian played with Max, we all drank Kool-Aid and sat on Dana’s front porch then proceeded to watch some of the Little Rascals. Walter called came and picked Ian and I up and dropped me off at home. Gave Ian a hug goodbye and told him to bring me something back from England. I want a guard. I don’t think he can’t bring me one. Came inside, called Andy, he came over, we said goodbye (i.e. hug, kiss, “I love you”s, and so forth). And now I’m here, packing.
About that crying. He made me cry, but it wasn’t all bad, it was a little good too. I cried for a lot of different reasons and some of them I’m not sure why they came out at that time. I cried because all my mom has been doing lately is bitching at me. I cried because I don’t know where I want Andy’s and my relationship to go. I cried because he says the sweetest things and he’s so nice to me and I think that’ so precious. I cried because I don’t know if we’re good for each other. I cried because I don’t think we’re on the same level and I think he puts more into this relationship than I do. I cried because, as bad as this sounds, I really like Ian. I cried because he means so much to me, and I don’t want to loss him. I cried because he was talking about an “open relationship” , and I don’t want that. I cried because he’s the sweetest person ever, and all he’s trying to do is make me feel better. I cried because when I told him my stomach hurt, and he brought me chips and cracker and water and juice. I cried because I don’t know. But whatever because we talked when he came over, and we’re all good now. I really love him and he makes me so happy. So I’m going to listen to the Ataris and think about Mr. Andrew Ian Stewart.
That was almost too emo for my own good.

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So here's my gardes and classes and such. Just got around to posting them but hey, most people just got theirs so it's chill. And hey, my mom's a giant bitch and I hope she gets trapped under something heavy.

GRADES:
Religion- 88 = B
Line and Color- 99 = A
English- 86 = B
Geometry- 95 = A
Spanish- 86 = B
P.E.- 82 = C
US History- 90 =B

CLASSES:
a Textile Design and Paper/ Fiber Arts Lanciotti
b Algebra II L2 Boyle
c Psychology Don't know
d Modern U.S. History and U.S. Government Johnson?
e Chemistry Cashour
g Church History Unassigned
h American Lit L2 Reddy
Night.

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jubilant

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Today was my first day working up at camping, well volunteering because I'm not getting paid. It was alright, I got to watch the first graders which is the group that I'm going to get when I actually work there anyways, and all the kids are really cute. Except for like 2 or 3 that are just annoying and whiney, but that's not bad out of thirty some. This little girl named Katie is my favourite, she’s really quiet and doesn’t complain at all, and is the easiest kid to get along with, and she’s hella adorable. Well I don’t have anything else to say, but I think I’m going over Beth’s again tonight and possibly Wednesday night too. Still trying to go to the movies, don’t know how that’s going to work out though. Hopefully we will, but I hope we don’t see Dodge ball, because I already saw it. Alright, I'm done.

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So from last Monday until this Saturday I was in North Carolina. That was fun and went by fast... and rainy. The first day, Monday, we went to the Biltmore Estate and that place is so huge and so pretty and so old. We went on the tour through the house, lots of walking, but it was so pretty inside and so big. If I lived there do you have any idea how much hide-and-go-seek I would play? Then on Tuesday we went to the alpine slides in Ober Gatlinburg, which was a lot of fun. While Elena was getting her boyfriend a necklace, we were talking to the guy who works there, and he was from Turkey and was giving us advice and stuff like most foreign guys who have obscure jobs at local attractions (he also lived in Ocean City for 6 years or something). Then it rained and we chilled inside watching the people ice skate and this little girl was definitely teaching this big Mexican guy how to do tricks and stuff. Cute. Then Wednesday we went to Mount Mitchell and Chimney Rock, that was all sorts of outdoor activity and walking through caves and rocks and such. On Thursday we went to the Indian reservation and went through to see the things that the Indians would have done if we hadn’t raped them and stolen their land and lied to them and killed their rituals and what have you. It was interesting, and then we went shopping, like girls are supposed to do. Emily and I bought really pretty rings, mine reminds me of my mom’s friend Nancy. Our whole fan toke those old time pictures where they dress you up as salon hussies. Hot shit. I was like the head hussy and the chick who was taking the pictures gave me the nickname Boobs, because she didn’t know our names or anything. That was embarrassing , but funny and stuff, considering Hannah is being on top than I am. The trip was a lot of fun, except for the useless fatties. But I won’t go into that , because I might start shaking and foaming at the mouth. Saturday was just spent driving home and then Andy came over and we watched a movie and then I slept.
Today I went to my grandma’s house and chilled with her until 1:30ish and then walked home, showered, hung out with Andy, and watched movies. 6:30ish Beth called me and told me to come over because she was having a get together in place of Youth Group. Ian was there and that was cool, because I haven’t seen him in forever and like 3 days and he’s moving to England July 15th. All sorts of trying to hang out with him before he leaves.
This week I think I’m going to end up getting volunteer hours up at the camp. Beth and I are going to work and then possibly go shopping and movies, not quite sure yet. Meeting up with Dave, Ian and I think someone said Brian’s name. Then on Friday Emily and I are leaving for New York for a week. I need some sleep, goodnight.
<3.<3.

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Yesterday, I woke up and Andy came over and we went over to Emanuel's house. Emily, Emanuel and Caitlin were watching Love Actually, so we waited for them to finish the movie and headed to the mall. Hit up American Eagle and got two shirts and then a little pillow for my ear. Then we went back to Em's house and just chilled and tried on clothes and started Girl Interupted. After Andy got off work he came and picked me up and we waited for his friend Hana to call and meet up with them. Well I called my mom and she spazed so I ended up having to go home at ten and Andy went back out with his friend.
Woke up this morning and actually jogged with my mom and then cleaned a lot to earn money for next week. Called Andy around 9:30 and he came over. At like noon it was time to go to Beth's for her pool party. Andy didn't stay for long but I don't really know why. He just kind of left me there, but oh well, he had work at four anyways. So we swam, ate, tried to get sun, and played volleyball. It was a lot of fun, don't see those people a lot anymore. Monday I'm leaving for Tennesse and am gone until the 27th so that should be fun. Saturday there's a show in Catonsville, that should be fun to. But I need shit to fill in the spaces, so hit me up.
<3.